Adultery

From Sean's Gospel Topical Guide
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22) Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.
23) And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out.
24) Thou shalt not commit adultery; and he that committeth adultery, and repenteth not, shall be cast out.
25) But he that has committed adultery and repents with all his heart, and forsaketh it, and doeth it no more, thou shalt forgive;
26) But if he doeth it again, he shall not be forgiven, but shall be cast out.
74) Behold, verily I say unto you, that whatever persons among you, having put away their companions for the cause of fornication, or in other words, if they shall testify before you in all lowliness of heart that this is the case, ye shall not cast them out from among you;
75) But if ye shall find that any persons have left their companions for the sake of adultery, and they themselves are the offenders, and their companions are living, they shall be cast out from among you.
76) And again, I say unto you, that ye shall be watchful and careful, with all inquiry, that ye receive none such among you if they are married;
77) And if they are not married, they shall repent of all their sins or ye shall not receive them.
...
80) And if any man or woman shall commit adultery, he or she shall be tried before two elders of the church, or more, and every word shall be established against him or her by two witnesses of the church, and not of the enemy; but if there are more than two witnesses it is better.
81) But he or she shall be condemned by the mouth of two witnesses; and the elders shall lay the case before the church, and the church shall lift up their hands against him or her, that they may be dealt with according to the law of God.
82) And if it can be, it is necessary that the bishop be present also.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery ... nor do anything like unto it."
"He that looketh on a woman to lust after her, or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they shall not have the spirit, but shall deny the faith and fear"
Like D&C 63:16
41) And as ye have asked concerning adultery, verily, verily, I say unto you, if a man receiveth a wife in the new and everlasting covenant, and if she be with another man, and I have not appointed unto her by the holy anointing, she hath committed adultery and shall be destroyed.
42) If she be not in the new and everlasting covenant, and she be with another man, she has committed adultery.
43) And if her husband be with another woman, and he was under a vow, he hath broken his vow and hath committed adultery.
44) And if she hath not committed adultery, but is innocent and hath not broken her vow, and she knoweth it, and I reveal it unto you, my servant Joseph, then shall you have power, by the power of my Holy Priesthood, to take her and give her unto him that hath not committed adultery but hath been faithful; for he shall be made ruler over many.
61) And again, as pertaining to the law of the priesthood—if any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and the first give her consent, and if he espouse the second, and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then is he justified; he cannot commit adultery for they are given unto him; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto him and to no one else.
62) And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified.
63) But if one or either of the ten virgins, after she is espoused, shall be with another man, she has committed adultery, and shall be destroyed; for they are given unto him to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfil the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world, and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may be glorified.
31) It hath been written, that whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.
32) Verily, verily, I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whoso shall marry her who is divorced committeth adultery.
"whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
31) It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32) But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
"A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed."
"But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas:"
2) And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3) And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4) And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5) And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6) But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8) And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9) What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10) And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11) And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12) And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
18) Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
  • John M. Gottman, "The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples", 2011, pp. 341-347
Gottman describes that the "Atom of Betrayal" in a relationship is an unfavorable CL-ALT (basically, imagining that another relationship would be better) paired with turning away from bids for attention.

Notes

Some of the material here relates to lust.

Committing Adultery in Your Heart

John Gottman's modelling of the "Atom of Betrayal" as imagining that another relationship would be better paired with turning away from bids for attention. Given that imagining that another relationship would be better should lead to increasing turning away from bids for attention, then it seems that the fundamental issue is "imagining that another relationship would be better".

This strongly reminds me of Christ's "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her".

Gottman describes that betrayal is fed and magnified by conflict avoidance. He suggests that this is because betrayal incidents that one perpetrates that are ignored and dismissed fester and are not forgotten because they never get processed and lead to emotional flooding which then feeds greater betrayal.

Cross-References